Attack of the Weasleys
by eris-11
Summary: A collection of one-shots, drabbles, and vignettes exploring the shenanigans and dynamics of the expanded Weasley-Potter brood, post-Deathly Hallows.
1. Bathroom

"Molly! You barely even do your hair—all you do is comb it! Get out!"

"Shut up, Louis! You take forever too!"

"I do not!"

"Actually, you do, sometimes—"

"Whose side are you on, Freddie?"

"Mine, preferably!"

"The more you lot talk to her, the more time she'll be in there."

"Dom? When the bloody hell did you get here?

"I Apparated, but unlike you, I don't feel the need to scare everyone out of their skins when I do it. Why is no one using the other—"

"Victoire's taking her sweet time in there, too."

"Just like big sis."

"Tell me about it. Molly, you've got to—"

"Shut up before I hex you, Louis!"

"Molly, Dom had a point. The more you talk, the longer you'll take."

"Lucy, I never asked for your opinion."

"And you'll never have to."

CRACK! "Wuzzgoingon?"

"Teddy!"

"What? Today's my day off, and what better place to be than the Burrow?"

"A Burrow with two bathrooms is more like it."

"Huh. You think Mr. and Mrs. W would've added in more once the family exploded."

"Well, they didn't, and we're all paying for it now."

"Is this the bathroom line, Freddie?"

"Hugo, weren't you outside just now?"

"Yeah, and now I've got to use the loo. Who's in there?"

"Me!"

"Mol, can I use it after you?"

"You absolutely can't! I don't give a flying hex how much you have to pee, I've been waiting for five minutes!"

"Four, Louis."

"Shut up, Lucy."

"I'm washing my face now!"

"Aaargh! MOLLY, YOU'D BETTER BE DONE IN THREE SECONDS OR ELSE I'LL—"

"EVERYONE, BE QUIET!"

"Yes, Grandma Weasley."


	2. Change

Lucy contemplated her appearance in the mirror, thoroughly disappointed by what looked back at her. She saw a petite girl with short, flaming red hair and pale, almost peaky skin. She was skinny and wore a pair of square glasses. Her face had no freckles, which she almost would have welcomed because they would have at least added something to her unremarkable face.

She sighed, closing her eyes in disappointment.

"Lucy, seriously! You're taking forever in there!" The knocking on the door was accompanied by Victoire's voice.

"I'll only be a second longer!" Lucy lied, staring at herself.

There was a long pause, and Lucy knew that her cousin hadn't left yet because she hadn't heard the footsteps. Suddenly the door opened and Victoire stepped into the bathroom before Lucy could stop her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Finishing up in the bathroom."

Victoire cocked a hip, not believing a word. "Yeah, and Crumple Horned Snorkacks are real." She grabbed Lucy by the shoulders and turned her around to look her over. Her voice was decisive. "You were looking at yourself in the mirror."

Lucy averted her gaze. "Er…"

"You were." Victoire crossed her arms. "You're going through that low self-esteem thing, aren't you?"

"Er…" Lucy was pink now, annoyed and embarrassed that her prettiest cousin would catch her being vulnerable.

"You are." She smiled gently. "Dom went through the same thing. I told her not to sell herself so short, and I'll tell you that, too. Look at yourself. What's so bad about the way you look? What do you want so badly to change?"

Lucy sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "Well, let me see. My skin's too pale, my arms are too skinny, my hair is like a fire on my head, and I have bad eyesight. Want me to go on?" she scowled.

Victoire looked at Lucy through the mirror with an expression that was almost soft. "Your skin is fair, and extremely fetching. You're slim, not skinny. Your hair is a gorgeous shade of red, and your glasses fit your face extremely well. Do you want _me_ to go on?"

Lucy remained silent, knowing it was impossible to win an argument against Victoire.

"That's what I thought." she retorted. "Now hand me that brush."

Lucy did so and Victoire began to brush her cousin's hair. "See, the trick is to not brush it too much, but enough to get a shine." she explained. "And if it looks nice, then there's no reason for you to cover it up with that scarf."

"I think you've got magic fingers, Vicki." Lucy murmured, watching as her red hair seemed to glow more with each brush stroke.

"I don't, Luce—I'm just bringing out your natural beauty." Victoire replied easily. "I know it's not the change you wanted, but I still think it's a good one."

Suddenly, Lucy was struck by a surge of affection for her oldest cousin. She gave her a tight hug. "Thank you."


	3. Pain

_A/N: Everyone seems to like the idea of Albus being in Slytherin, but I've never really bought into it. That being said, I think it would make sense for someone in the Potter-Weasley family to be a member of that house._

It couldn't be happening. Not really. She had to be imagining things. A nightmare, or something, or a hallucination. This couldn't be real.

The Great Hall had fallen completely silent. Everyone was looking at her as if they couldn't believe what was happening, as if they, like her, were in a daze.

"Lily?" Professor Longbottom's voice was quiet and gentle. "You should go and take a seat now."

Her body wasn't her own anymore. She stood up and walked almost robotically to the side of the hall that wasn't red, or blue, or yellow, but a deep, dark emerald green.

What would her father say? What would her mother say? She couldn't even fathom the thought of facing her brothers, both safely stowed away in Gryffindor.

Not like her.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to run out of the room and get back on the train and go home, where she didn't have to be in a house her family hated, a house her family had fought for years and years. She wanted to curl up in a ball and forget what the Sorting Hat had said, what the Sorting Hat had yelled out for everyone to hear.

"SLYTHERIN!"

The word echoed in her mind, bouncing back and forth in her brain until she couldn't think. She shuddered as she heard the Sorting Hat call "GRYFFINDOR," making the scarlet side of the hall cheer for Hugo.

Not her.

She kept her eyes on the worn, scrubbed wood of the table, but she could feel the gazes of her cousins trained on her from across the room. James, shocked and suspicious; Albus, pitying her; Molly, most likely thinking of ways to comfort her as soon as possible; Rose, sad and completely understanding as she stared at her from the Ravenclaw side.

She wasn't going to sleep well that night.


End file.
